In my younger days, I thought of marriage as an unnecessary ritual.
A farce. Just to keep two individuals bound in a claustrophobic relationship.
Men and women, married to each other, stay married despite their unhappiness, differences, and intimate affairs with others because of several reasons. This is a pretense, a farce, they why marry? Live in relationships are fine, so I thought.
If a person in love wants to live the rest of his/her life with the beloved, it can be achieved. By living together under one roof in harmony. Why rituals? Does one need the certification of marriage and witnesses to their bond? Approval to love and live together, from the society?
Does the bond of marriage guarantee fidelity? Undying love? The promise to stay on till death did them apart? Even without marriage, the vows can remain intact. There can be commitment towards each other even while living together.
For me, this invisible bond of a wedding was man-made. And meant for those, not strong of mind and determination. Religion sanctions this bond between two persons, some rituals are performed, witnesses who second this whole thing and it earns the legal title.
BUT now I have realized that we are weaklings. We need this institute of marriage, this witnesses to the wedlock, this approval of religion and society.
Though people have the choice to walk out in a marriage, they usually don't. They are scared of the society who has nothing to but talk. The partners think twice before heading different ways. And this 'thinking twice' gives them another chance to work on their relationship.
Not so in a live in relationship. One can just walk out without thinking, without explanation, without the accountability that is there in a marriage. It is easier to trample over one's partner, desert the lover in a live in relationship. Like the relationship never existed.
But in a marriage? There are questions, accusations, explanations, justifications, and excuses and of course the tears and the paper works. The commitment and responsibility are high in a marriage.
Marriage has the respect, the approval of the society. This endorsement is necessary for the feeble human mind to stay in a relationship.
A lover can turn away from the beloved, walk away without hassles. But a wife/husband can’t do the same. She/He needs again a signal from the society to undo the marriage. This walking away is labeled 'divorce', whereas the term in a live in relationship would be 'estranged' or maybe something else.
Marriage may be a farce, but we need this farce. To be socially acceptable. And for religious purposes.
The mind is conditioned such, that it needs something/ someone to obey to. Independently, it often falters and cannot walk steadily.